It’s hard to believe it’s been a year, but I’m back! I enjoy and miss writing, there’s a lot to write about, sessions with my therapist have come to an end, and I need something to do with myself. So I decided it would be good to start blogging again. There’s plenty to say but I want my first post back to be light so I’m doing some free writing. Hello to all my faithful readers and hi to anyone new!
Needing: New glasses, badly! Oregon Medicaid won’t cover them and I’m finding it almost impossible to save up for an exam and glasses.
Watching: Daria. She reminds me of myself, a smart, snarky wallflower.
Wishing: For several things that simply cannot be, one of them ever.
Waiting: For a package that should have been here by now. Hopefully Monday.
Wondering: How some people can be so hateful and hurtful.
Marveling: At how clear my body can be about certain things. Like the fact that gluten makes my fibro symptoms worse.
Liking: The fact that I haven’t had to wash dishes in at least two months. DH has been doing them every day.
Thinking: About how far I’ve come in the past 6 years. Even when I feel like a wreck, I know I’ve grown a lot.
Listening: To demo versions of songs by The Cars lately, because it’s neat to hear what earlier visions were.
Noticing: How much it helps to give up the need for control in my life. This is not easy for me!
Making: Nothing, and I need to change that. Too much time online, not enough (read: any) time creating things. That’s one function of this blog, thankfully.
Getting: Frustrated with all of the nightmares and other PTSD stuff I’ve been dealing with again for almost two months. I’m starting Prazosin again tonight and hopefully that will help.
Snacking: On too damn much junk and gluten! Being multiple doesn’t help with this one bit.
Hoping: My older son gets through his first real job interview with flying colors in a few days. Asperger’s will make this harder for him than for many people.
Wanting: To go to the beach. I’m only about an hour away and I have no way to get there.
Knowing: That I’m going to have a very hard time when my brother in law and his soon to be wife start a family.
Enjoying: Fresh local fruit, especially Hermiston watermelon.
Following: Not enough of what’s going on in the world. I know tiny amounts about a bunch of things and feel like I should better inform myself.
Coveting: Far too many things, from a bigger kitchen to a different relationship.
Admiring: My mother in law for writing a yet-unpublished novel and getting a meeting with a literary agent. Impressive!
Reading: Too few books, about the right number of blogs, and too many web pages for fun.
Bookmarking: Things that wouldn’t make sense to most people because they would think I have no need to bookmark them. But it’s part of a process for me, so I let myself do it.
Considering: What to tell people when they ask what to get for this body’s birthday. Amazon and PayPal gift cards!
Cooking: A lot of main dish salads and muffins. And food for several people who pay me for it.
Looking: At my cats lounging here in the living room. When they’re awake, wherever I am is where they are. I love them!
Loving: The freedom and relief I feel since cutting my family off completely. I wish I hadn’t felt the need to do it but it was best for me.
Smelling: The lemony, minty aroma of the catnip plant one of the cats just nibbled on. Divine!
Playing: Boggle with my older son several times a month. And Words With Friends with several folks online.
Pondering: How to continue improving my life and how not to be afraid of that.
Feeling: Sure of who I am in many ways.
Giggling: About the most recent Maru video that was posted. I can be in a horrible place emotionally and Maru and Hana never fail to make me feel better.
Drinking: Barefoot Pink Moscato tonight. Or tomorrow. Or both.
Opening: A new chapter of my life in many ways. Family cut off, therapy ending, considering school next year. Good things.
Helping: My sons navigate through life. Sometimes just by texing “Hope you’re having a great day.” Other times much more hands on, including hemming interview pants.
Disliking: How much hot (for western Oregon) weather we’ve had this summer. Bring on the crisp days of autumn!
Wearing: Men’s cargo shorts. They’re part of who I am.
Deciding: Not to contact my mother, because it would make my life far too complicated.
Hearing: The whir and creak of the fan that is keeping me from having to use the air conditioner.
(And getting used to: The new WordPress format.)