I Wish

I wish I could get myself to blog again.

I wish I wasn’t having so much trouble with my chronic health issues.

I wish I wasn’t in physical pain every day.

I wish I wasn’t in emotional pain every day these past few weeks.

I wish I could get through a day without crying.

I wish I could get things done around the apartment.

I wish I had the energy to cook reasonably healthful meals.

I wish I knew if my brother is okay.

I wish I knew if my half-brothers are okay and what they’re up to.

I wish my younger son wasn’t homeless. (He does have shelter and meals.)

I wish I didn’t keep forgetting to call my older son.

I wish I had a better relationship with my (step) daughter.

I wish I hadn’t cut the other night.

I wish this month wasn’t being so hard on me.

I wish my bio family knew how much I really do love them.

I wish I knew if an antidepressant would be helpful right now.

I wish I didn’t feel the need to consider an antidepressant.

I wish I didn’t feel like cutting more.

I wish it would snow.

I wish we had money so Hubby and I could exchange Christmas gifts.

I wish we had money so I could donate to the two agencies that have been helping my homeless son. (Outside In and Janus Youth Programs)

I wish I could make everything better for my hurting friends.

I wish I didn’t feel sad, anxious, overwhelmed, angry.

I wish I wasn’t having thoughts of suicide (with no intent).

I wish, I wish, I wish.

~Kali