I Wish

Standard

I wish I could get myself to blog again.

I wish I wasn’t having so much trouble with my chronic health issues.

I wish I wasn’t in physical pain every day.

I wish I wasn’t in emotional pain every day these past few weeks.

I wish I could get through a day without crying.

I wish I could get things done around the apartment.

I wish I had the energy to cook reasonably healthful meals.

I wish I knew if my brother is okay.

I wish I knew if my half-brothers are okay and what they’re up to.

I wish my younger son wasn’t homeless. (He does have shelter and meals.)

I wish I didn’t keep forgetting to call my older son.

I wish I had a better relationship with my (step) daughter.

I wish I hadn’t cut the other night.

I wish this month wasn’t being so hard on me.

I wish my bio family knew how much I really do love them.

I wish I knew if an antidepressant would be helpful right now.

I wish I didn’t feel the need to consider an antidepressant.

I wish I didn’t feel like cutting more.

I wish it would snow.

I wish we had money so Hubby and I could exchange Christmas gifts.

I wish we had money so I could donate to the two agencies that have been helping my homeless son. (Outside In and Janus Youth Programs)

I wish I could make everything better for my hurting friends.

I wish I didn’t feel sad, anxious, overwhelmed, angry.

I wish I wasn’t having thoughts of suicide (with no intent).

I wish, I wish, I wish.

~Kali

6 responses »

  1. I wish you knew how special you are.

    I wish you didn’t feel the need to hurt yourself.

    I wish I could do something, even some little thing, to ease your emotional pain.

    I hope you can continue blogging…I’ve missed you!

  2. Thinking of you, sending you warm thoughts. Please try to do something healing with your hands. Do you like to craft things? Knit? Crochet? Hang in there. – Melody

    • I’m smiling, Melody. Today was MUCH better, thank goodness. I was able to get a few things done and even got out of the house. I’m sure you know the relief. And I do crochet! One of my inside kiddos crocheted a cute purse not too long ago. I love the reminder to do something healing with my hands. I’m making that a virtual sticky note so I can remember. I forget to do healing things with my hands and it really is important. Thanks so very much for that reminder. (Sorry for the rambling, I had to take Vicodin and it makes me rather verbose. ;-) )

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s