Tag Archives: expressions

i am… (take 1)

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i am…
    bored and restless

i am not…
    wanting to spend time with in-laws tonight

i feel…
    sad and lost

i want…
    to cut

i need…
    time with a friend

i have…
    a heart that won’t seem to heal

i love…
    my sons

i hate…
    grief

This is a writing exercise I found on the Bodies Under Siege message board. When I want to journal but am not sure where to start I use this. Sometimes it ends up being a jumping off point for more writing, other times I feel satisfied with the brevity of those few words.

Inspirationally Speaking, New Year’s Edition

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Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~ I’ve seen this quote attributed to at least two people. What I can definitively say is that I didn’t write it. ;-)

We’re entering a new year in a couple days! I can honestly say 2012 has been the best year of my life so far. That’s not to say that there haven’t been some major struggles, but I feel like things are coming more together for me and us. Our system is, in general, more settled as we work out how to deal with each challege that comes up.

I do have some hopes for the new year.

  • I hope to put aside $20 a month at least 8 months out of the year. (If my glasses break or we have a kitty vet emergency, we’re in deep trouble.)
  • I hope to keep doing light exercise 4-5 days a week, either walking somewhere or one of our senior chair exercise DVDs.
  • I hope to find ways to eat better that don’t require too much standing in the kitchen since I never know how I’ll feel from day to day. I’m thinking a simple but healthy soup once a week–minestrone, chicken & rice with lots of carrots, taco soup with plenty of veggies, etc.
  • I hope to reconnect with my aunts and also my niece and nephews. I want this so much but am pretty nervous about it. More about that in another post.
  • I hope to craft some sort of “advent” calendar-type of thing for December.
  • I hope to learn more about Paganism and similar beliefs that I and several of the others feel connected to. We want to bring this more into our daily life.

I know there are other hopes but these are the ones that come to mind at the moment and feel the most important.

Whatever your situation at the moment, I’m wishing you all a new year filled with amazing things that you might not even be thinking of. I wish you all peace and happiness. I wish that the new year will bring you new life, new energy.

New Life2
I’m in love with this gorgeous “New Life” print by JasmineCheri!

Thankful, November 13

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Today I’m thankful for my sweet kitties, George and Abigail. I really don’t know what I’d do without them, especially Abi. She is my sweet girl, my snuggle-bunny, a true companion pet. They both know when I’m having a hard time and will come lay near me on the bed if I’m upset. They follow me around the apartment–if I get up and go into DH’s “office” they are soon there. When I come into the bedroom to hang laundry to dry, there they are. They sleep on the bed with me at night. They are sweet and funny and loyal and mischievous.

Concern for them has kept me from doing drastic harm to myself a number of times. It may sound strange, but it’s my concern for the cats that worries me most when I think about not being around. The humans in my life would suffer terribly if I were gone, but they’d be able to take care of themselves. The cats could not, and even as I write this, it hurts my heart to think of how bewildered and scared they would be if I disappeared suddenly and they had to go to new homes. They are my lifesavers!

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Thankful, November 9

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On this day 24 years ago my first husband and I were married. During the 8 years we were together (five of them married) we had some very good times, we had some times that were quite rough, and we got two great sons out of the deal. Today I’m thankful for the neat things I was able to bring out of that relationship. Social and political awareness, vast enjoyment of sarcasm and wit, a love for words and wordsmithing, the desire for knowledge, an appreciation of aphids (he’s an entomologist), and plenty of other random things. On so many occasions I find myself thinking, I wouldn’t know this or appreciate this if it weren’t for A. The marriage may not have worked but I’m thankful it existed.

Thankful, November 6

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Today’s post is so late because I was waiting to be able to write this:

Today I’m thankful that my older son has a place to live! Just 48 hours ago I was freaking out about the very real possibility that he would be on the streets tonight. There was a weird issue with his rental application and even though it looked like he was denied, he really wasn’t. Yesterday we found out all was well and this evening I had my MIL drive him to move into his new room in the house with the lovely couple who I think will be very good for him to be around. I’m thankful he has a home, thankful for our home and routines back, thankful for all the good thoughts and prayers that everyone put out for us. Even the kitties are glad to have their couch back!
   A rare exuberant moment

Thankful, November 5

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It’s our big grocery shopping day for the month so today I’m thankful for Gloria’s fantastic ability to plan a monthly menu and put together the shopping list according to the layout of the store. She really gets in her zone in the store (and in the kitchen) and it makes life easier for all of us, including DH. There’s a lot to be said for having a happy homemaker in the system!

Gloria and I are both thankful for SleepyMouseDesign‘s journal–handmade with the cover of a vintage schoolbook, one of Gloria’s loves.

Thankful, November 4

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I’m a pretty “green and crunchy” gal–many in the system are on board with this. Because of physical and mental health issues and also money I can’t be as green and crunchy as I wish but I’m pleased with the things I can do. Today I’m thankful for our drying racks. They save us money, save on resources, and I love hanging our laundry to dry. It’s a soothing refuge to me to come into the bedroom, put a show on Netflix through the Roku player, and methodically hang everything just so. (All the assorted towels and such are another way we’re green here.)

Thankful, November 2

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Today being payday, I’m thankful for all the hard workers in the US who pay taxes so folks like myself and DH are able to have food, shelter, health care and a less stressful life with our disabilities. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to work more than very part time, if that, so I am sincerely grateful to everyone who can work.

I’m thankful for JulieAnnArt‘s fun cards on Etsy!